Mantra, Season 1, Vol. 1: He made them dream
A new newsletter and in my feelings about Big Ange.
If you’re reading this: Thank you. Mantra — my attempt at a personal, thought-driven, vibes-based, probably too much in my thoughts and feelings Substack — is my public attempt to tap back into old dreams and energy I’ve beaten down over time.
My original dream for life for the longest time was to write. It wasn’t deeper than that. I had visions of what I wanted to write — novels first and foremost — but put that feeling away over and over again for a million different reasons. Going down that road, even in a small way, never really happened.
That vision of doing something massive, something lasting or recognized isn’t there anymore. Maybe some version of it comes back. But I miss writing just to write, to feel something from the work. So here we are.
A few people deserve a shoutout here too because their push to write or create or be on their own terms inspired me:
Kevin Stankiewicz, perhaps the best person I know, started up a photo-centric newsletter called Kevin’s Pub to tap into his passion for and skill with a camera. How he sees the world through a lens always amazes me.
Kaitlyn Pachecho, someone whose work has always made me want to be better at what I do, writes Dispatches. It is so vulnerable and so creative and I hope this is 1% as good as that.
Danny Cunningham, the best person on the Cavs beat right now, started up The Inside Shot as he struck out to build himself as a business, man.
Cassy Kolesar, for being unapologetically themselves.
Haley Rischar for creating her own jewelry brand Relik because wanted to and had a drive to. A gold bracelet from Relik with a baby pearl on it is a daily wear for me.
And Josh Link’s A Link to the Masses always teaches me something new about horror or comics or whatever rabbit hole Josh is going down. Magneto was right.
So why is it called Mantra? When brainstorming for this, the song I kept coming back to was Sam Fender’s song Mantra. Specifically, the opening verse:
"Please stop tryin' to impress people who don’t care about you"
I repeat as a mantra
I've known this wicked waltzer all too long
It's the cycle I’m stuck on
And I'm tryin' to be better, but I fall at every hurdle
The purpose of this Substack, as much as it’s about writing to write, is about pushing back that feeling of giving a fuck about what anyone really thinks about what I’m doing. It is doing something just doing it regardless of how many people read it or care about it. It’s doing something different. It’s going to be writing about topics that are gray, that are uncomfortable. It’s about tapping into what I know I care about.
And yet, the first topic is a sports topic — what I’ve spent more time writing and thinking about than just about anything else as an adult.
Tottenham, the sports team that consumes more mental energy for me than any other team, fired Ange Postecoglou on Friday after two seasons. And, most notably, after the club’s first trophy since 2008 and first European Trophy since 1984.
Postecoglou1 wasn’t perfect — Spurs just finished 17th in the Premier League, their worst finish ever and well below where their financial power dictates they should finish. Had he not led Spurs to win Europa League (which required him to dial back his high-octane, all gas no brakes football and play something resembling Jose Mourinho ball) him being fired would probably have been a no-brainer.
But that win created these scenes. For me, watching the game at Old Angle in Ohio City and stress drinking Guinness, it had me hugging random guys in the bar. It had me my friend Colin watching with me as I increasingly lost my mind in a mix of fear and hope. It had me FaceTiming my friend Alex, also a Spurs fan but living in Florida and also in a bar, just so we could have a 10-second celebration together.
The last time watching any game felt that good (but also really bad until it got good) was in 2016.
Does it really get better than this2?
Postecoglou did something Mourinho, Antonio Conte and Mauricio Pochettino could not do: get Spurs a trophy. And, by getting that trophy, proving that they club could accomplish more, that anyone can do more with hard work, time and irrational self belief.
Isn’t that the whole point of sports? Sports are entertainment. They are also business. But what sports offer more than anything at their best else is hope, is a feeling of that good things can actually happen. At its best, the fans and the team and the players are all connected and pushing towards something together.
Sports should be a feeling, not something defined rigidly by profits with decisions only made coldly based on bottom lines and what the numbers say to do.
Tottenham, led by Daniel Levy and a billionaire owner who lives on a yacht, firing Postecoglou feels like they don’t share that vision. Which isn’t a surprise — the biggest teams in the world across all sports are corporate businesses and prioritize the bottom line over the dream. Spurs, specifically, have drifted into a space where its fans have protested Levy. It’s made fans (at least the terminally online ones) wonder if the club is even dreaming with the players and fans anymore3.
The club will be fine, maybe even a bit more normal. I will watch them religiously next year. I am excited about Thomas Frank, the likely successor to Postecoglou4. But Postecoglou getting sacked after leading Spurs where he did just feels wrong, even if it’s the right, logical decision.
What I’m reading
The book I’m currently reading is Cattle Kingdom: The Hidden History of the Cowboy West by Christopher Knowlton.
Lately, I’ve been drawn to things that, at their core, are about how people persevere and navigate the hard parts of life. This is one of those books5.
A few articles I enjoyed this week:
The Athletic’s Jack Pitt-Brooke on why Spurs fired Ange ($).
Been thinking about the IX Center — once a backbone of Cleveland-area World War II manufacturing — potentially being turned into a data center. Hat tip to Kevin for putting this on my radar
What I’m watching
Dept. Q, the new crime show from Scott Frank on Netflix. Frank is one of the great crime writers; his novel Shaker is absolutely mad in the best way. You may know him best from writing the screenplay for 2017’s Logan and writing/showrunning The Queen’s Gambit and Godless.
A song that’s suck in my head
Christian Lee Hutson’s original version of Rubberneckers is perfect — heartfelt and cynical, folk lyricism meshed with indie pop sensibilities, backing vocals aand production Phoebe Bridgers6, and a delightfully random music video.
He didn’t need to go make a fully folk version. But he did. I suspect I’ll list to this far more than my therapist would approve of.
Willow Avalon is distinct. Her updated version of The Actor featuring Charles Wesley Godwin is a perfect pairing to take a great song up a notch. Has been in my rotation in the few weeks since it came out.
7Jack Van Cleaf’s album JVC is the odds on favorite to be my favorite album of 2025. The version of Rattlesnake of the album with Zach Bryan is a lock to be in my 2025 Spotify Wrapped. But this is the song of the album to me8.
Be well.
An Ange quote I love: "You can’t just survive in life — you’ve got to live. I don’t want to survive in football; I want to live."
Except for that random United fan in the video. Poor fella.
Many of the players, for what it’s worth, have taken to Instagram to thank Ange and wish him well and thank him for his work. That is rare.
Ange proved himself right as much he proved Spurs’ detractors wrong — he does always win things in his second year. He too will be fine. Self belief like his is a super power.
Before this, it was River of Doubt by Candice Millard and Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino. And I’m a Daily Stoic daily reader.
Manifesting a new Phoebe Bridgers album this year.
While checking for JVC tour dates, I realized I had seen him open for Noah Kahan at Blossom in Cuyahoga Falls. Except I got their late and don’t remember him from that night at all. There’s a lesson there: Always get to a show early to see the openers.
Piñata was on the long list of names for this project.